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PARENTS' CORNER |
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Top 8 Tips For
Single Parents
on Surviving the Holiday Blues
From Jennifer Wolf,
About.com |
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For many single moms
and dads,
the holidays are characterized by stress, anxiety, and - in the years
when it's the other's parent's turn to be with the kids - an
ever-present ache.
When it's not "your year" to celebrate Thanksgiving Day or Christmas
morning with your children, what helps you get by and survive the
holiday blues? In addition to doing what's worked for you in the past,
try applying a few of the following suggestions for making the best of
the holiday this year.
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1. |
Maintain
Your Integrity
Feeling angry and resentful about not spending the holiday
with your kids is natural. However, the only thing worse than how
you already feel would be missing your children terribly and
being ashamed of how you behaved when it was time for them to go.
As hard as it is, do your best to put aside any negative feelings
about the visit and make an effort to be supportive of your
children's relationship with the other parent.
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2. |
Find Other
Ways to Celebrate the
Holiday
Together
Work with your kids to plan an alternative holiday celebration in
advance of the big day. Begin by asking each of your children to
tell you which aspects of the holiday they most appreciate, and
work to incorporate those activities into your own personal
celebration time. Keep in mind, too, that finding a creative way
to celebrate the holiday together is just as important to your
kids as it is to you!
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3. |
Take Care
of Yourself
Use the time apart to pamper yourself. Sleep late and treat
yourself to things you really enjoy, but rarely get to do. Simply
talking in a movie or curling up with a good book can be
rejuvenating activities that also serve to clear your mind and
restore your sense of well-being.
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4. |
Get
Together With Friends
Don't spend the day of the holiday alone. Instead, get
together with some friends or your extended family. If you enjoy
hosting events, invite some friends over for an informal wine and
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cheese party.
Everyone needs a break at this time of year, and sometimes the
most casual gatherings with friends become our fondest memories of
the season!
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5. |
Count Your
Blessings
This is also a perfect time to reflect on all that is good in
your life. Sit down and make a list of the ways in which you've
grown personally in the last year. It's been challenging, and
there have been steps along the way that you wouldn't wish upon
your worst enemy. But at the same time, you've become a stronger
person. Take some time to acknowledge how far you've come and
treasure the blessings you've been given.
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6. |
Help
Someone Else
One of the best ways to curb your own sadness is to focus on
helping others cope with challenges of their own. Visit the
United Way's Volunteer Solutions Web site to find local
opportunities to volunteer your time, from holding babies at the
local hospital to serving meals or passing out blankets to the
homeless.
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7. |
Be
Productive
You may find that tackling a large project, such as cleaning
out your "junk drawers" or painting a room, is a therapeutic way
to spend your time. In fact, some projects, like getting caught up
on your monthly bills, may even help you meet your goals for the
New Year.
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8. |
Refocus
While your kids are away, take some time to reflect on your
personal goals and priorities. What is really, ultimately,
important to you? And does the way you live your life everyday
reflect those priorities? If so, how? And if not, how can you take
small steps toward aligning your day-to-day actions with your
highest aspirations for yourself and your family? |
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