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My son, almost 10 and in the fourth grade, is
a competent student, but he does his homework at
bedtime--and rushes through it without thinking,
making many errors and writing illegibly. He'll
never answer a bonus problem or question, or do any
extra credit. He does the bare minimum and, without
my prompting and checking, he'd do even less. |
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He's not allowed to watch TV or play
Nintendo during the school week. He's fine
with that rule--but always finds something
else to do. Any suggestions?
What's your
goal?
On the one hand, you want your son to invest
more time in homework and become a more
conscientious student. You realize he's
smart, and only want him to reach his
potential.
On the other hand, you don't want the |
present situation to get worse. You're
proceeding cautiously, doing all you can to
avoid a homework power struggle. You realize
the more you push, suggest or coerce him to
do additional or better work, the more he'll
most likely pull back.
THE SUBTLE APPROACH
You're controlling TV and Nintendo, but
watch out for how much you prompt him and
check his work. He holds the controls;
homework is his responsibility, not yours.
Coming in the back door with subtle
influence is much better than barging
through the front door with lectures that
try to convince him of your point of view.
1. STATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Tell your son, "You're smart. You do so well
in school, but I expect you to put more
effort into your homework assignments." Once
you've stated your expectations, say no
more. Now calmly let the situation rest.
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2. ACT LAID-BACK.
Also, practice and exhibit a relaxed yet
interested demeanor. Talk about what he's
learning and doing in school rather than
calling lots of attention to his
less-than-intense approach to homework.
Notice what he's doing that's right, then
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occasionally tell him what you'd like to see
him change: "I see you're working on your
homework. Good for you. Someday, I hope
you'll get started earlier in the evening."
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3. OFFER INFORMATION.
If, for example, you see a paper with messy
handwriting, lots of eraser marks and
crumpled corners, say to your son, "I
noticed you completed your assignment. Just
realize that teachers give better grades to
students who hand in neat work. If Mr.
Wilson can read this paper easily, it's just
natural he'll give a better grade."
4. EXPECT MORE THAN MEDIOCRITY.
Finally, don't accept mediocre performances.
If your son completes a spelling assignment
with two errors, point them out. He can
easily make those corrections--but don't
persist if he gets emotional or defensive.
Your new goal must include cultivating his
interest in homework. If you have more
interest and energy than he has, he'll
resist. But realize you're fighting the
influences of your son's peers, who probably
don't approach homework with much
seriousness either. Sadly, being scholarly
isn't cool with many kids today. |
