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PARENTS' CORNER |
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Who gets the kids for Thanksgiving? |
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You are separated or divorced and have
children.
Most of the year you deal with ok but when it comes to the holidays
things can get a little stressful. Thanksgiving starts off the holiday
season and determining who gets the kids for Thanksgiving can be
stressful and just a painful decision for both parents involved. There
are a few tips that might help you decide who gets the kids for
thanksgiving, but the most important thing to keep in mind is being
cordial with your ex-spouse. Doing this is important for your children
because that person continues being their mother or father. Respect here
is important, despite how you really feel. As long as you have open
communication where the children are concerned you will be able to work
out a good holiday schedule that is acceptable to everyone. |
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Switch Off
A common way of handling who gets the kids for Thanksgiving, which
inevitably brings up Christmas, is to simply switch off. This year the
mother gets the kids for thanksgiving and the father gets the kids for
Christmas. The following
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year the mother gets the kids for Christmas and the father
gets the kids for Thanksgiving. Rotating each year like this allows kids
to associate both holidays with both families and the traditions that go
along with each. It's a great way for the kids to still celebrate both
holidays with both sets of families even if it is every other year.
Share the Day
For ex-spouses who live relatively close to one another sharing the day
can work out well. Many families celebrate Thanksgiving at lunch and
others at dinner. One parent could have the children for Thanksgiving
lunch and the other parent for Thanksgiving dinner. If family
obligations occur at the same meal then everyone should try and work
together to do what's in the best interest for the kids. Don't feel bad
about asking grandma to celebrate Thanksgiving at supper this year so
the kids can be there even though she usually celebrates for lunch. It
takes an entire family to get through divorce and make holidays special
for the kids. Do everything it takes to make the day special for the
children.
Let the Kids Decide
Sometimes it is best to let the kids decide which holiday they want to
spend with which parent. Give the kids a piece of paper and ask them to
write down whether they want to spend Thanksgiving with mommy or daddy.
Remind them that they will have to spend Christmas with the parent they
choose not to spend Thanksgiving with. That way the kids can't make you
feel bad for making them spend a certain holiday with you because they
chose who they want to spend it with! This might be hard for parents to
take, but giving the child control over the situation may allow them to
enjoy the holidays just a little bit more. |
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